Playboys, Alpha males and 'Real Men': Manipulative container words
or; Women’s Tools
Adopted to male sensibilities
I’ve often suggested a healthy level of narcissism is required by men, in fact I’ve often suggested it’s one of the hallmarks of the concept of masculinity itself. Healthy is a vague term that we can take to mean anything we want it to, so in the theme of this post I will look to make it a little more objectively.
Unhealthy narcissism involves a few characteristics. Create an archetype, persona, or life script, which I condense into the term deep narrative; emulate the characteristics of your surface level understanding of this deep narrative and respond with rage towards any person who does not recognize your deep narrative as their deep narrative. I use the term rage purposefully, anger is a social reaction to a perceived injustice. If I break my arm from an accident it hurts, if you break my arm on purpose it’s anger. Rage doesn’t have a grievance, it’s an ego defensive measure to remove threats to ones ego investment. Whether it’s accidental or purposeful doesn’t matter. Only the deep narratives integrity matters.
And it’s built on a foundation of sand.
So when I say a healthy level of narcissism, I define it as a level of narcissism that does not require rage in order to sustain itself. The reason I make this specific is because of the concept I am introducing here
I use an analogy to describe this. A container word is a box, a box with a label on it. You take this box with a label on it, and fill it with emotions, feelings, and ego. You seal the box and throw it at someone else. they have their own box, and it’s filled with their own emotions, their own feeling, and their own ego. Since your box differs from theirs, and everyone box benefits themselves, they use their box as a cudgel against your box. You must adopt the contents of their box or else suffer narcissistic rage.
The labels are pretty common: Alpha Male, Beta Male, a Real Man, a Man of Integrity, Playboy/Pleighboi, HighIQ, Real G; you can easily think of many more once you know what to look for. Women and men both use container words to bully you into doing something for them.
You’re not a Real Man if you don’t do the dishes
Only highIQ men understand this
I would never put up with that, I only sleep with men who have Integrity!
Real G’s only fuck 9’s and 10’s
I’ve spent way too much time arguing with middle aged soccer moms online during my learning phase of The Red Pill, and it’s something prevalent that isn’t discussed. Luckily once a man gets it, they learn to develop frame. Frame encompasses the final strategy in this essay.
Why use them, whats the point?
And this is where we get a little tribal in our definitions. In general, the mental models that have coalesced around Red Pill are ones of:
Factual objectivity, where there is one set of facts
Moral subjectivity, where what is moral is based on the specific goals of the specific society
Open conversation, where discourse is deigned to discover what the facts are. We ideally play the ball, not the man
The mental models that coalesce in increasing regularity around the typical person, most often women but increasingly guys I’ll call blue pill are:
Factual subjectivity, where there are multiple facts which are based on the perspective of the person making the observation.
Moral objectivity, where there is one set of morals that we are constantly refining as we become more ‘enlightened.’
Closed conversation, where discourse is designed to discover who has the moral high-ground in any situation, so that their subjective facts may drive peoples behavior.
I argue that the former encompasses masculinity, and the latter femininity. There are biological justifications for this which I am not getting into as it’s outside of scope. If we were to argue about it, we would either agree, refine the definitions, or take the above definitions and pit them against each other and end up back where we started.
Take a leap with me.
Container words are a perfect example of using blue pill mental models to achieve a goal, the goal here is to get someone else to behave in a way that benefits them. She has her facts, her truth, and her goal of interacting with people to establish her status as authority so that everyone else must adopt her facts. The ideas are irrelevant, only her status.
e.g. good girl, high quality woman, not her fault. More containers
I’ll bet a few of you are mapping this to an argument you had with your wife and it makes sense, doesn’t it?
Meanwhile, a well meaning but insecure man will assume others are having discourse with the idea of discussing facts. He takes the moral posturing as if it were a definition, he will take her container of facts and adopt it as their own, he takes his objections to her obvious lunacy and puts them aside. The blue pilled person seems so certain of their facts since she is basing it on the certainty of her moral authority. We all are completely certain of our morality, it’s the deepest narrative we have. It’s our lives hard-and-fast ruleset, not to be broken ever. If we do break them, we build elaborate justifications as to why it was necessary to do so in order to protect our moral code.
If you recall my definition of unhealthy narcissism above, this sounds similar, no?
Create a deep narrative
Emulate the superficial characteristics of the narrative
respond with rage at peoples lack of acknowledgement of said deep narrative
The moral high-ground isn’t even consistent, it changes as the rationalizations and justifications change, the only over arching mental model is ‘self interest.’ This is the traits of the borderline, the female equivalent of narcissism. It’s different, but deceptively similar at the same time.
I tell guys that a lot of the mental models the red pill has are adopted wholesale from a woman’s mental models and adapted to male sensibilities. This is what I mean. Put aside our ideas of discourse and learn to handle someones moral posturing as the useless but fun game it is, then proceed to laugh at their flimsy box of manipulation, while you sit on your container of forged experience cocksure in its contents.
It’s not a huge stretch to tell a man that his long term health and success requires changing his mental models from contemporary blue pilled ones to more self-interested red pill ones. while I acknowledge this sounds less like a praxeology, or study of purposeful human action in order to navigate them to ones own benefit, than it does a philosophy, I notice that the mental models have to come because of the praxeology, not the other way around. Otherwise we are replacing one unhealthy narcissism with another one. Even if this makes it a more beneficial deep narrative, it’s still lacking the sustainability that will work for a man in the long term.
I find a lot of red pill guys who jump the shark seem to forget that. Red Pill as a collection of mental models creating a deep narrative comes from understanding the feedback one gets from the world in its reaction to his actions. When you create your deep narrative because a bunch of dudes online talk about how they think, how they act, and why they do things, you’ll eventually run into a chick that refuses to acknowledge your edgy redpill persona, refuses to touch your dick. causes narcissistic injury, and creates narcissistic rage. I could add some case studies and callout some names, but I’d rather the reader does that on his own, half the fun is in seeing the matrix as its code.
Whats the takeaway?
My takeaways are: first, I am not my brothers keeper. Getting to a place where one gets enthusiastic sex and desire from as many women as possible is a universal. Aside from that a Red Pilled man is a man on a personal journey to achieve greatness in his life, in whatever unique ways he chooses to define it.
Definitions of greatness, another container word. Best to open the box in front of others so we are all talking about the same thing.
Second, any man who is redpilled is acting like a child with dynamite; creating an elaborate archetype, emulating their own surface level understanding and reacting negatively when others don’t acknowledge it; or
Everyone says we are evil misogynists that hate women. I’ll act like an asshole and shit on women and I can be redpilled and have all the pussy too, right?
The real redpill is deferring to Jesus and shitting on women for having sex
I got a girlfriend now, she is special and not like the other girls so I will reward that with all the validation she wants!
Children with Dynamite is the perfect explanation for this, as is purple pill. Using red pilled tools to achieve your blue pill goals, or wielding something that isn’t doing anything but destroy your own attempt at a sustainable deep narrative.
The third takeaway is best summed up by one of the older guys in this space, Humansockpuppet
You are a man. You are the only creature on this planet fit to accomplish anything of worth. And because of that, the rest of the world will always try to twist your mind, or twist your arm; to force you, by deception or by threat of imprisonment, to accomplish their goals instead of your own. Learn to recognize when this is happening, and take back control of your life, so you can do the things that YOU want to do.
Anyone using your own box to achieve their own ends is manipulating you. Don’t be mad about it, they do it because it works. It works because people are conflict averse, insecure about their own self worth, and seeking validation from others. Address those three points and they can throw around their container words all day, while you approach them with amused mastery:
Hey, your box is leaking