It was a wife’s dystopian wet-dream
Their own personal soap opera, or their own chance to finally stick it to Susan. Everyone knows Frank was cheating on her, she will be so embarrassed! Every man she knows, she can look and see if he's cheating, or wanted to. It’s a wonderful, cynical, technical mix of crab bucket, TMZ: The home edition, and the non-fungible understanding of whether you made your man happy all these years, or not.
There’s a lot of material out there, discussing why online dating is hypergamy, run amok. The four horsemen (Tinder, OKCupid, Seeking Arrangements, and Bumble) have summoned upon us the Thotpocalypse. This isn’t about that, this is looking at that one
I won't bother going off about why online dating is hypergamy, it's been done to death What I see here, is a chance for a man to take on his life with refreshing honesty.
I've had a discussion of it with my brothers on the Married Red Pill, the subreddit where men first started learning how to come back from marriage purgatory, and found out some guys are killing themselves over this.
Let that sink in for a minute.
Men are killing themselves, over the misguided notion that a man needs to make wife happy above all. Like a golden calf, a mans own happiness is something to be struck down, through sacrifice, appeasement, and eventually the ultimate sacrifice though an embarrassed sense of misplaced nobility. “At least the kids get the insurance money?”
Imagine if I told you that someone was beating the shit out of me on a daily basis, and that I treated them like gold. Then on the one day I actually managed to throw a punch back at him, the guilt made me decide the only way out was to shoot myself. You'd think I was crazy. replace violence with a withholding of a mans basic need to be desired and loved and suddenly it sounds rather benign. This is whats meant with the adage “No one gives a shit about the plight of man”?
Whats stopping a guy who gets caught from coming clean, and owning his shit?
It’s not that she wanted to fuck you, or felt some sense of betrayal, it’s about control, about knowing she has tamed the beast. Instead, a guy can show that he still has some claws.
“Look, Susan. You haven’t fucked me in over a year, the fuck did you think I was going to do? You get to live in the suburbs rent-free, you got your kids, you got everything you want. this discussion is over.”
Worst case scenario? Lose a frigid wife, access to your kids, some cash? I’ve developed plenty of strategies to fight that battle with the various divorce lawyers and freshly divorced men I’ve worked with. And the one good thing that my step-father taught on this subject was:
Operation Scorched Earth. He was willing to burn his entire fortune to the ground, rather than give it up. He was an asshole, but the tactic was sound. A lot of guys are worried about their money. You're a good quality man, you can make more. It’s something every guy has to come to understand at some point. Loss is inevitable, but your ability to rebuild is eternal. The courts are stacked against you anyways right? Burn it all to the ground, give her half the ashes, in the end, you'll be the in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, having sex with women who are willing and able. She'll be the post-wall single mom looking for a comfortable man to pay the bills.
You may still be funding her ass, but it’s much less than she cost while married, and you get yours in a perverse win-win scenario; or
Or, she will take your unapologetic need to fuck women to heart, and start keeping her end of the relationship up, if for no other reason than to attempt to keep you under some sort of control. It’s not ideal, but it’s a start, it’s something you can work with.
Either way, both outcomes look preferable to a mouse of a man, hiding his life of quiet desperation, and lubricating his dick with his own tears, begging the world for any girl who is willing to take his money in order to fuck him while he pays someone his wife not to.
Self awareness is hard. Own your shit.